She cautiously set her cup on the table. This was the only time when the kids were off to school and better half still in bed. Sipping coffee and talking to self for five-ten minutes was all she needed to take charge of herself and her day ahead. Something was amiss that day. She was not able to figure out the happenings inside her. Where was her chirpy self? She was frantically searching for it, for quite a few weeks now.

Everything was going ahead as usual but something felt out of sync. Life felt as if marching ahead with a pace she couldn’t match. She tried to held each moment in her hand. However, time being time, it slipped out like the sand. She felt the pull from all the directions and not enough strength to carry everything on her shoulders. Was she exaggerating to herself, she wondered? Was she playing the victim card, and if yes, then to whom? Was she responsible for this glorious mess? Am I aging? Is it because of “chemical locha*” of hormones? Many such non-congruent thoughts invaded her mind sending her in the state of quandary.

She picked up her mobile and typed her mind out in the Sunshine Group, the very group she had joined recently on Whats App. “Looking for answers” was her last statement in the message. Once posted, she wondered what propelled her to take that step. Did I add to my predicament she quizzed herself, for which again she had no answers. But the arrow was already darted. She decided to leave it and go ahead with the flow of the day as it happened.

A dying ray of hope nudged her to check the Sunshine Group again, after a while. The group had not failed her. In poured the words of advice, comfort and solace. Soon her heart was filled with many rays of warm Sunshine. One ray told her to say “No” to things. One suggested her to pull a break and rest. Another added that its life and that one needs to slow down, lie low at times and it happens with all. Another ray rekindled her own reflection. It counselled her to revisit her dreams, for she had lost what it meant to dream at the hands of day to day mundane routine life and responsibilities thereof.

A chirp by a friend that she was undergoing nothing but a burn out, counselled her further. A flash message by another buddy that this too shall pass brought the pendulum of thoughts to rest at the centre. Soaking up each word of wisdom, first thing that she did was thanked God for surrounding her with well wishers who would not judge her nor poke her for what led her to this? All had but one noble intention to help her tide over the phase and that’s all.

Later in the day, she sat in silence with herself and took out a pen and paper. She poured her heart out and at the end of it, came a whistle! Her chirp was back for it was always inside her, ready to jump back.

She realised that being the wife of a nomad, she had freedom in every aspect of life. But that also meant a lot of responsibility. Most of the times she had to play the role of the father and the mother. The weight of this responsibility sometimes weighed her down. Matching up with the demanding schedules of the growing children was burning her energy faster than earlier. She decided to speak about it to her better half first and then with her children. She was thankful that her children and her better half were very supportive, She was sure they would all help her shoulder the responsibility more efficiently and effectively. All that was needed was to voice it. ‘Why did I not do it earlier?’, she reprimanded herself!

She loved people around her. She was the chirpiest best when she was in the company of her near and dear ones. But this too meant demanding schedules on social front. Nephew going abroad for further studies, cousin coming over from overseas after a long gap, school friends meeting over week end, trip to native for rituals, school function to attend and many such events made her diary overflowing with greetings and meetings. Entertaining them while not disturbing any one’s schedule on home front was tipping the balance off. She decided to stagger her engagements and requested the other parties involved for adjustments. To her surprise, every one headed to her request and accommodated as per her suggestion. ‘Reach out’ was the mantra that she learnt.

Her love for words, musings and conjuring up stories was shouting for her attention too. She had neglected it saying that she would take it up later. It made the creative half of her, sad and sulky. She had not been able to rehearse for her very first live performance and the D day was inching closer. The insecurity stemming from what if I am not able to perform well was corroding her confidence at steady rate. As she sat and looked at it objectively, she realised that the show needed her to be herself. And for being herself she did not need any elaborate preparation!

Furnished with the objective reflection of the situation, smile returned to her as she sipped her coffee again in the late afternoon! ‘I am what I am because of everyone around me and everything happening in and around me’, she reflected. Lagom, her word for the year, popped up in her mind reminding her to be moderate with everything. Was this not tiding over all about?


*Locha – Hindi word that means mess.
I dedicate this post to Sunita Sadhana, Isheita Chopra, Damayanti Biswas, Sunita Rajwade, Corinne Rodrigues, Mayuri Nadigallu, Deepa Gandhi, Varsh Bagadia, Dipika Singh and Meenakshi Iyer. Thanks for helping me tide over…
Liking this post to #FridayReflections by Corinne and Shalini


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27 Comments

Sajid Akhter · August 18, 2018 at 12:37 pm

Hi Anagha,

Interesting read. Life is all about ups and downs. Experience every moment, be positive and keep moving forward.

Thanks for sharing, have a great weekend. 🙂

    Anagha Yatin · August 18, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    You said it Sajid. Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Have a happy week end.

Varsha Baikar · August 18, 2018 at 1:03 pm

Nice post 🙂 Anagha. I could easily relate to this post while reading. You are right, “Reach Out” is the mantra.
Thanks for sharing.

    Anagha Yatin · August 18, 2018 at 1:19 pm

    Thanks Varsha for resonating with my thoughts.

neerajme · August 18, 2018 at 1:48 pm

The real thing is reaching out and giving time. Nice to read the pouring of human emotions with such finesse.

    Anagha Yatin · August 18, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    Thanks Neeraj

Parul Thakur · August 18, 2018 at 2:30 pm

I liked the reflective and introspective nature of the post. Hope you are back to being your chirpy self. Reaching out is important and so is believing in self. Hugs!

    Anagha Yatin · August 18, 2018 at 2:31 pm

    Thanks Parul. And yes, the chirp is returning back slowly!

Anshu Bhojnagarwala · August 18, 2018 at 4:19 pm

I like the fact that you don’t shy away in pouring your heart out. Glad you have so many rays that bring warm sunshine into your life. Cheers anagha for you and your rays!!

    Anagha Yatin · August 18, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    Thanks Anshu.
    Yes, I must count my blessings twice when I count my rays of Sunshine.

Bellybytes · August 18, 2018 at 5:45 pm

What are friends for ? Glad you’re back to yourself ! Keep smiling

    Anagha Yatin · August 18, 2018 at 6:09 pm

    Thanks Sunita!

Corinne Rodrigues · August 18, 2018 at 7:43 pm

Hugs, Anagha. I’m glad that she sorted herself out. Sometimes it’s a little tweaking of our routine and perspective that will do it

    Anagha Yatin · August 18, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    Very true Corinne. Getting overwhelmed is never a good idea and takes one no where.
    Thanks for visiting.

Sachin Baikar · August 18, 2018 at 11:20 pm

Very well written post 👍 Anagha. Voicing out your feeling to family members is important during overburdening situations. It helps to divide the responsibilities.
Thanks for sharing.

Deepa · August 19, 2018 at 12:01 am

Sometimes we all need a little encouragement and support of loved ones.Thanks a lot Anagha for the mention. Hugs.

vartikasdiary1 · August 19, 2018 at 3:01 am

Very nice and relatable post, Anagha. Reaching out indeed is the key.

Ramya · August 19, 2018 at 4:48 am

That’s wonderful post Anagha. Yes. we need friends to tell some simple solutions which we tend to ignore due to our boring routines. By the way, what is Lagom?

Ness · August 19, 2018 at 5:33 am

I am so glad your group helped. Definitely keep writing. You do it so well. We always put everyone first as wives and mothers, but we need to recharge ourselves too. Glad your chirp is back x

Varsh · August 19, 2018 at 8:51 am

‘I am what I am because of everyone around me and everything happening in and around me’, loved this line, Anagha. We make our life complicated when the simplest things can get us the peace and happiness we need!

mayuri6 · August 19, 2018 at 6:40 pm

Glad to have you back, Anagha and happy we could help. Keep shining, keep smiling and keep blogging, your posts pep me up. Thank you for the mention.

Ramya Abhinand · August 20, 2018 at 8:11 am

AWW. Anagha life is strange indeed sometimes. Hope all things stay in place and you spread your thoughts through such lovely posts.

Vinitha · August 20, 2018 at 10:43 am

Glad to know that she reached out and found her chirp back again. ❤️

Meha Sharma · August 23, 2018 at 10:48 am

Anagha your posts are always brimming with sunshine. They help me tide over. Cheers. Good to read a post by you after long. Love❤️

Meha Sharma · August 23, 2018 at 10:50 am

Anagha your posts are brimming with sunshine. They help me tide over always! Good to read a post by you after long. Love ❤️

Mummasaurus · September 4, 2018 at 5:04 pm

what a lovely read!! reaching out is crucial and important!! straight from the heart!

    Anagha Yatin · September 4, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Indeed it is. Thanks Prisha for sharing your thought and appreciating my efforts.

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