Can See, Won’t Listen

Do you know what accompanies monsoon? Let me give you clues… EOR, EOS? Most of the humanity on my side of Earth is directly or indirectly affected by and happily or unhappily associated with this annual phenomenon! Discount sale, what else can it be… none other than  ‘End of Reason’, ‘End of Season’, ‘Stock Clearance’, ‘Up to 50%’, and what not etc etc.

Come monsoon, every shop in the market or mall declares the discount sale. There are many who wait for such an occasion, including me. Weekends are then sacrificed by the better half in holding my umpteen purchases and waiting patiently for my turn to try out before rejecting more than half of the chosen ones. Nodding in affirmation or rejection as per the mood on my face, every time I emerge out of trial room, is none less than standing a criminal trial for him. Given the fact that we are well over the seven year itch and  about to complete the second decade of blissful (sweet and sour would be better word!) co-existence, I royally ignore such minuscule creases on his forehead.

My perils, however, are far worthier of sympathy than his sacrifices. Have you tried digging up the pile for getting T-shirt that you feel is your size? Have you dared to play push and pull with perfect stranger when you lay your hands on that trouser at the bottom of the pile, that you were looking for and the lady on other side has grabbed its other leg? Exchanging the darn looks or feigning that other person is just invisible is task that requires skills of legendary stature. Everything is fair in love, war and discount sale!

The shop turns to be an arena for match of equals…size for size, skill for skill and shout for shout…Shout? Yes shout… Like how I end up calling my better half to show my prized catch? To begin with I have “shsh-shsh’ calls, then ‘clearing-of-throats call’ and then ‘clap-calls’, then the last resort ‘shout-aloud’. To fetch him to the present where I’m, from his world on smart phone is a galling task. Now imagine most of my likes engaging in this activity at same time…

This collective harsh cacophonous sound adds to my anxiety and nibbles away my buying spirit. How I wish then all these discordant sounds are barred from hearing. I don’t mind if I have to give up the sense of hearing for that matter! World will be peaceful and quitter to let me focus on my objective of shopping. Nothing will bother me and deter me from shopping till I drop. I can turn deaf ear to my husband’s grudges for giving me company for long unproductive (that’s according to him) hours. Moreover, it will save me from addiction of gossiping. I will not fall prey to rumors as rumors traditionally travel by the ear-route! Silence is golden they say.

I would however like to receive double vision power in exchange. I would then read the fine prints of the discount offer which usually follow an Asterisk mark and not leave those to fool me at the billing counter in the end.  With improved vision, I would easily spot the dress that has size I am looking for and will comfortably locate the one even if it is at the bottom of the pile or at the fag end of the display rack. One look at the dress and I will know if the fabric and design is right for all the seasons and save me trouble of trial. I can scan other’s purchases and find out if I had missed on anything great! One glance and I will get the fair idea of fast moving queue at the billing counter and then quickly shift to it. Will have an upper hand while bargaining with the shopkeeper as I will be able to read his mind beforehand. Most important, I will be able to read my better half’s finer expressions and design the preventive maintenance strategies before the impending premature full stop on my shopping spree!

If only wishes were horses…wont you say that? I can read that piqued and “what the heck” expression on your face, but I am not listening… Can see, won’t listen!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda. 

Prompt for the week – That one sense you are willing to give up in exchange of the other getting double the power

This is my seventh and last post for #Bar-A-Thon2018 Season3 on prompt “Seven Year Itch”

Picture courtesy Pixabay